Tag: Health

No Muscle

On By Jon ONeilLeave a comment

“Just say no.”

It’s a phrase indelibly linked to public service campaigns—from Nancy Reagan’s stern warning against drug use to Michelle Obama’s encouragement to young people. It’s a simple, decisive command, and it aims at the big, life-altering decisions.

But I want to offer an insight: the true power of “no” isn’t reserved only for these momentous, life-or-death choices. Its most profound impact is felt in the daily, small decisions we face in our personal and professional lives. These are the choices we often dismiss as insignificant, yet they are the silent architects of our trajectory.

The Tyranny of the Small “Yes”

We are wired to be agreeable. To be team players. To be responsive—to texts, emails, requests for “just 15 minutes” of our time. We fear the awkward silence, the momentary disappointment, or the potential missed opportunity that a “no” might bring.

So, we say yes.

  • Yes, to the extra, non-essential task at work.
  • Yes, to the social engagement we dread.
  • Yes, to the distracting notification on our phone.
  • Yes, to the small detour that is miles off our personal road map.

Each “yes” on a small, non-essential item is a micro-withdrawal from our most precious accounts: time, energy, and focus. Individually, they feel harmless. But stacked up over weeks and months, these small “yeses” create a crushing weight. They dilute our effort, erode our momentum, and ultimately, can lead us down a catastrophic trajectory where we are busy but unproductive, exhausted but unfulfilled, and our brand—our identity and what we stand for—is blurred by a thousand compromises.

Your “No” Muscle: A Necessary Discipline

This is where the concept of the “No” Muscle comes in.

To say “no” when it truly matters—to a toxic influence, a professional over-commitment, or a habit that drains your soul—requires strength. And like any muscle, that strength must be developed through practice. If you haven’t built the discipline of declining the small, distracting, and non-essential things, you will have no strength—no muscle—to utter that decisive word when the stakes are high.

Practice makes stronger. Start today by recognizing that saying “no” to one thing is saying “yes” to another.

  • Saying no to an unnecessary meeting is saying yes to focused work.
  • Saying no to a distracting notification is saying yes to presence and clarity.
  • Saying no to a request that doesn’t align with your goals is saying yes to integrity and your own mission.

Build that muscle by starting small. Be selective about your time. Guard your energy as your most valuable asset. Recognize that your calendar is not a suggestion box; it is the ledger of your life, and you are the only one who can truly authorize the debits and credits.

The strength to say “no” is not rudeness; it is self-respect. It is not a denial of others; it is an affirmation of self. Start flexing that muscle today, and watch as your trajectory straightens, your energy reserves replenish, and your momentum becomes unstoppable.

A Word of Guidance

The internal discipline required to maintain a focused life is the true work of the heart. The Bible speaks to this vigilance:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

(Proverbs 4:23, NIV)

This “guarding” is the active, continuous process of building your “No” Muscle—protecting the source of your thoughts, intentions, and actions from the countless small distractions that seek to drain its vitality.

The 4 R’s That Shape My Week

On By Jon ONeil1 Comment

The 4 R’s That Shape My Week

For years, I thought progress—whether in marriage, personal growth, or work—required daily consistency. If it wasn’t happening every single day, I felt like I was falling short. But life’s schedule had other ideas.

The turning point came during a marriage planning exercise. My original plan was to connect with my spouse daily, but our calendars didn’t agree. Rather than forcing what wasn’t working, we shifted our sessions to Sundays—and it worked beautifully. That one change revealed something bigger: I already had a natural weekly flow.

Daily Foundation: The 3 Cs
Every morning, I start with a routine I call the 3 Cs:

  1. Center – Water, writing, and Bible reading, along with prayer and exercise, to ground my mind and spirit.
  2. Consume – Fuel my body with something light to energize for the day ahead.
  3. Conquer – Launch into a mindset ready to win the day, tackling tasks with focus and intention.

This daily foundation sets the tone for the week and supports each of the 4 R’s.

Here’s how my weekly rhythm looks:

Sunday – Refresh (Marriage & Myself) 🧘 Sunday is sacred for renewal. It’s when I attend church, intentionally connect with my spouse, and carve out time for my own restoration—whether that’s reading, or simply quiet moments. This day is about refilling my cup so I can pour into the week ahead.

Monday–Thursday – Rise (Productivity & Progress) 📈 These are my “go” days. Fueled by Sunday’s reset, I commit to moving projects forward, tackling work goals, and leaning into growth. Momentum happens here—personally, professionally, and relationally. These are the days I intentionally rise to the challenge.

Friday – Reflect (Pause & Take Stock) ✍️ Friday is for intentional assessment. It’s my chance to look back—what went well, what needs growth, where I need to give thanks. Sometimes that’s journaling, sometimes it’s a walk or a good conversation. Reflection clears the way for Saturday.

Saturday – Reward (Celebrate the Wins) 🎉 By Saturday, it’s time to enjoy the fruit of the week—whether that’s a date night, a favorite meal, or simply something fun. Reward keeps the joy alive and marks a healthy close to the week. It’s a purposeful celebration.

Riding the Wave

What I’ve learned is this: daily checklists can feel rigid, but weekly rhythms flex with life’s realities—work, appointments, shifting energy, and the unexpected. Instead of fighting the tide, I’ve learned to ride the wave.

Your rhythm doesn’t need to look like mine. The point is not perfection but sustainability: creating a cadence that allows you to refresh, rise, reflect, and reward in ways that bring balance and growth.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1 (CSB)

The Protein Bar

On By Jon ONeilLeave a comment

I was tired—of eating half a protein bar, of missing my daily protein target, and mostly, of the nonsense in my head.

I’d seen a guy on YouTube survive on protein bars for a week. Impressive? Maybe. Smart? Debatable. But I figured I could at least finish one. Just 12 grams of protein. Easy snack. Right?

Wrong.

What started as a “quick bite” turned into a mental fog. I wanted to stay “composed” for a surprise event my wife planned, but in the process, I checked out. I wasn’t fully there. My body showed up, but my brain apparently stayed home consuming distractions.

But here’s the truth: it wasn’t about the bar. It was about the mindset. I wasn’t feeding my body—I was feeding avoidance. That bar was a crunchy little symbol of my attempt to manage discomfort with focus on food instead of faith.

Then came the wake-up call. Pastor Diego Mesa, a guest speaking at my Church (July 28, 2024), dropped this line: “God’s not through with you yet.” Oof. Conviction served.

And this gem: “The breakthrough is closer than you think.”

Right there, I knew. The bar wasn’t the enemy. My fear of uncertainty was. So I chose to face it—head-on. Two days later, I resolved not to return to that old pattern. I expected to be tested. And I was. But tests are proof that growth is underway.

Lesson? Don’t panic. Stay the course. And sometimes, just throw the bar away.

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”—Galatians 6:9 (CSB)

The Crossroad

On By Jon ONeil2 Comments

On the morning of March 30, 2013, I emailed the internet company to say cancel my subscription.  I’d been paying monthly since September 2012 and even spent money to market with no results.  My wife expressed concern for this reoccurring charge that was not producing any results by asking how long I was going to continue paying.  This was in January 2013.  This question suddenly made me more accountable.  During the prior months, I did not give a second thought to the charges.  After all I was in my own type of prestigious golf club although I was not going on the greens.  On the day I scheduled to cancel, my wife asked if I was going to feel bad doing so.  I replied that I would.  “I see the potential and they have some new tools.”  She nodded with understanding and gave a supportive “Mmmhmm.”  Had I asked her to let me explore this opportunity longer, she would have blessed it.  The decision then was mine to decide on my direction at this crossroad.  I chose to be true to my word and cancel.  I decided to focus on two other opportunities I was more passionate about.

Today you may be at a crossroad in your home, career or personal life.  You may be asking yourself, which direction I should choose.  Perhaps these thoughts may provide you with some perspective.  Have you done what you needed to up to this point to afford you with no regrets if you went in another direction?  For those last three months I was held accountable and used the membership.  Then on March 30, I was able to look back and say, I gave it my best shot.

Have you given your best shot until this point?  Have you fought for your marriage before thinking of quitting?  Have you applied yourself at your current position at work before deciding it is time to move on?  Have you focused on the goal you had and followed through on your commitment before deciding to choose a new direction?  Have you held yourself accountable?  If not, find someone who will.  Now, do not be afraid to choose one path or the other because either will bring rewards and woes.  Decide based on your values and your passion. Then move in the direction of your purpose.  People who love and admire you are depending on you.  Your heart is depending on you.  (Matt 6:21)

Life washes on your shores waves of decision

And you gasp for a moment of clarity for purpose you envision

Gosh what do I do with this stormy gush?

Because I want to move in peace, I want some hush

This job is drowning my purpose – there is no future

I need to sail toward a new horizon or risk rupture

In my mind I feel so conflicted I struggle to breathe

How could I rise above the storm and have my passion seethe?

Was I focused and true to my commitment?

Then no matter my next ship I’ll sail with contentment

But now as the sun sets on this instructive voyage

At sunrise, I will captain my vessel with enhanced courage